Movie Movie Podcast

Ashley Carter’s weekly reminder that she is in fact a crazy person:

Hi Guys,

So apparently I just write the material movies are based on now. This will one day be made into a coming of age movie. Or maybe an experimental film done entirely from household objects’ points of view. Enjoy!

The Clock

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ASHLEY is back to remind you how crazy and weird her movie are. In case you forgot.

Hey guys! Sorry it’s so short and that this is the first one in a month and a half. I think from now on when I write fake movies, they are going to rhyme. Hope that’s okay!

Fred

Here’s a tale from New York
that starred an adorable dork
who is now so dismally dead.
He lived alone with his cat
in a small downtown flat.
His name was poor, pitiful Fred.

Sit back and I’ll tell you
about this poor fellow,
and his beastly beaus three.
He slit his own throat
in a rusty old boat
in the bay, down by the sea.

Now let’s rewind a few months
and consider the cunts
that lead poor Fred astray.
Each supplied a knife,
and a world full of strife.
that drove poor Fred to the bay.

There was Darla, of course,
who looked like a horse!
But we can’t really blame her for that.
She wooed him, and screwed him,
and downright abused him.
Then the bitch ran away with his cat.

We can’t forget Carry,
who was just a bit scary,
and incredibly, enormously fat.
Turns out her desires
were more to start fires,
particularly in his quaint little flat.

And finally Christine,
the beauty queen,
who came into his life with a strut.
Her face was sweeter than honey,
when she ran off with his money,
the gold digging, two-timing slut.

Our hero, bereft,
was sadly left,
feeling very small.
He walked onto the dock
and heard the gulls squawk.
And there he ended it all.