Movie Movie Podcast

A kids movie. AKA not weird. Well kind of weird.

No One Believes You

The year is 3027 and no one believes in Santa anymore. The world is beyond jaded, everyone is a cog in a machine: they go to work in a line, do their job and go home. Most of the world is now drenched in drab colors and people are rarely interacting with people because basically everything is a crime.

But there are still some eccentrics in the world, particularly Nick Kirstman, one of the richest people because he invented an assembly line tool, cause those are still used, that made everyone in the world more productive. He’s a hermit and has a giant castle far away from everyone. He’s obsessed with history particularly the 20th and 21st century. He has myriad books and holotypes about the time period, which include historical documentaries and movies from the time. One movie that he is especially fond of is The Santa Clause, because none of the historical docs ever going into Tim Allen’s sordid history. He watches it and thinks about how amazing it must have been to live in a time where people believed in Santa and celebrated holidays.

Well Nick decides to take things into his own hands. It’s the future, so there are flying cars and stuff, so he decides to make his own sleigh. The internet is still in use, and there are still social networks. He starts to farm all of the information from these and discovers what children around the world want and picks up this phasing gun that he has. He is able to buy something from Amazon3000, the new amazon after amazon was bought by the sentient hologram of Andre 3000, who then sold it to The Gap, and phase it instantly to wherever he is.

So with his sleigh ready, and dressed up with mechanical reindeer, he decides to do a test run, which goes horribly wrong and he plummets. So he goes and makes some new calculations tries again and plummets again. So he goes back, makes more calculations and tries again. He plummets but then is able to pull up at the last second and starts flying around.

Now with everything set up and him able to fly he decides to start breaking into peoples houses to leave gifts for everyone. He trips some alarms but still leaves gifts and gets away. However eventually he is caught by the robot police. He explains to the robot judge what he was doing and the robot takes a second to process everything before saying that no one believes him, he is a crazy eccentric who has locked himself away in his castle and they throw him in jail.

Eventually the people who he gave the gifts to come to the jail to visit him and they all start rallying for him to be let go. The robot judge is having none of it though. Some the whole world gets wind of this and there are rallies all over the world to let Nick go and let him continue to do what he was doing. All of the people who’s houses he broke into say they won’t charge him with any crimes and eventually Nick is let go (this is of course, because of a reshoot that Disney ordered. Originally there was a revolution that breaks out all over the world of humans vs robots with a rag tag group of rebels that come and save him from jail at the end all of them waving flags with Santa on them as they revolt against the machinery). He goes outside and there are people outside singing Christmas carols. Nick gets on his sleigh and says something like Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night, fly’s off into sky as it starts to snow. People keep hanging out outside and singing carols all night.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE