Fake Movie Friday Submissons: Catching A Falling Knife Part 2: Meltdown

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Andrew Dunn…

Because no one asked for it, I made a sequel to my fake movie Catching A Falling Knife from two weeks ago, here goes:

Catching a Falling Knife Part 2: Meltdown

The camera slowly moves around Wall Street. It is dawn, the sun is just coming into view and no people are on the streets yet. There is a ‘Social Network’ inspired soundtrack that makes things uneasy. The camera is pointed at the street where written in blood is the word “bullshit”. The camera pans up to the bull sculpture where two severed heads are stuck on either horn, and the bodies are tied to the bull’s back. The opening credits start, and we see highlights from the first film: we see all the the money bag masked killer’s kills, we see Adam be revealed as the killer and parts of the flashback with Adam’s father on the safari, and finally we see Adam brutally kill himself.

The credits finish and we are watching the same ‘Mad Money’ type show from the first film. This time James’ (Stephen Tobolowsky) guest is Lisa (Emma Stone).

James: “Your book ‘The Face of Evil’, which is just coming out on paperback, has caused a lot of controversy. While everybody understands that you had a terrifying experience, many feel your book unfairly indicts the entire financial establishment for the crimes of a signal individual: Adam Lee Summers. Many also say that your rhetoric makes you one of the leading voices that have been dividing the country between the so called 99 percent and the 1 percent, a rhetoric that seems to have turned violent…”

Lisa: “I’m assuming you are referring to the recent killings of high ranking employees from the big banks, the most recent involved the grotesque presentation of corpses on the Bull of Wall Street, and I’m offended. I’m a pacifist, and have never made any calls for violence. But let’s put that matter aside for now. The end of the book, after telling a first person account of my experiences, I make the broader point that Adam wasn’t a psychopath who conned his way into a high position at a big company. Rather, he got to a high position precisely because he was a psychopath. He had no conscience so was able to make an obscene amount of money no matter the human consequence. I am currently working on a book where I will “out” other powerful psychopaths. How can we expect large corporations to have empathy if those leading them don’t have empathy, and they are rewarded generously because of their lack of empathy.”

James: “And people found your first book controversial… well best of luck with your current book, and good luck with your forthcoming book.
It sounds like you might be making a lot more enemies.”

We cut to Lisa in a mostly deserted gym practicing kickboxing on a punching bag, a man (Joseph Gordon-Levitt ) walks up to her.

Williams (the man’s name): “I hope you are saving some of that energy
for work tomorrow. You are the best journalist our paper has, and I would hate for you to waste your time with… distractions”

Lisa “I know exactly what I am doing”

Cut to the next day at work, from the office’s huge windows we can see out onto New York. Lisa is doing research on the executives of the major banks for her book. She takes notes in a yellow legal pad. A janitor (Brad Dourif) looking pretty shady stops by her desk and tells her how much he liked her interview on the news, and how she was doing great work. A large portion of the film follows Lisa doing more research, she interviews people close to these executives who have been mistreated, and Lisa also gets to interview with some of the executives. These executives will mostly be red herrings as we watch many of them get killed off by the money bag mask killer shortly after Lisa interviews them and those around them.

The executives from the bank who have not been killed are understandably freaked out, so they have a big meeting in a lavish conference room to figure out what they should do. We watch them
whine for a while, then it cuts to the hallway outside the conference room filled with armed guards. The elevator at the other end of the hall opens revealing the masked killer with a machete covered in blood. The killer approaches the guards menacingly. One of the guards says, “They pay me shit and I have no benefits, I’m not dying for those assholes” and drops his gun. The other guards looks at each other and do the same. The killer opens the door to the conference room and goes to work in a slow motioned orgy of violence. When the movie is released, Fox News will have many stories about how Hollywood is filled with communists and terrorists and will bring up this scene in particular as being liberal snuff porn. The scene is in fact so over the top, that they kinda have a point.

Back to the movie. Lisa is taking a shower when William begins banging on her door. He looks pissed. When he is let in he throws her yellow notepad at her.

Williams “This is the research you’ve been doing?! Jesus Christ Lisa! I know you had a tragic experience, but I didn’t think it had messed you up this much!”

Lisa “Calm down, what are you talking about”

Williams “They are all dead Lisa! Everyone on your list. Its all over the news, at least 15 people were killed tonight. They really made it easy for you didn’t they, having them all there in one room, so you could get what? Revenge!? Adam is dead, these people didn’t do anything to you!”

Lisa “… wait a minute, everyone on my list?”

Williams “everyone! You were really thorough.”

Lisa “Oh shut up, I didn’t do it, but I just might know who did! Don’t you get it, I wrote all my notes longhand, I didn’t want to risk a computer leak–there are a lot of powerful people who don’t like me. Which means that whoever is doing the killing has access to our office! And if it is who I think it is…”

Williams “That doesn’t exactly sound convincing, but I know you enough to at least give you the benefit of the doubt this one time”

It is late at night, so no one is at the office except for the janitor, “Its him” Lisa screams, and Williams grabs him. “I didn’t do it I didn’t do it!” the janitor yells. Just then, a machete explodes out of of janitor’s chest, his body falls to the floor revealing the masked killer behind him.

Killer: “Poor Eddy. With all his hatred of wealth and his rantings about the Rothchilds and the gold standard, it only took a few hundred bucks and he gave me the run of the place every night. I have to commend you for your research skills, though your handwriting does leave something to be desired…”

The killer chases the two around the office, catches and kills Williams and knocks Lisa out. The screen goes blank for a second, then Lisa regains consciousness. The killer is standing in front of huge windows and Lisa is tied to an office chair.

Killer: “Looking for your phone? It’s right here, you are about to send a suicide note to all your contacts. You just couldn’t live with guilt of having killed all those men.”

Lisa: “Who are you?”

Killer: (ignoring the question) “You made it so easy, doing all the research for me. You really are dense aren’t you, I mean, my son wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but how the hell did you best him?”

The Killer removes his mask, and we flash back to Adam’s story about
the safari, it is in fact his father.

Lisa: “You are Adam’s father? You are doing this for revenge?!”

Killer: (angry) “I’m doing this because I can! I have the power, not those insects I killed, no you, and certainly not those stupid occupiers down there.” (points out the window at a small occupy camp below)

Killer: (looking out the window) “I don’t know why my son go so obsessed with them, does a lion give a shit that ants are organised? They only pissed me off when they started occupying other cities, why would anybody want to occupy anywhere but New York?”

Lisa: “Occupy Hell!”

She pushes her legs against a desk sending her and her chair flying straight at the killer. In a slow motion shot, we watch the killer get hit by the chair and crash through the window, in the same shot, we follow him as he falls to the ground in a thud. Cut to black, credits.

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