So based on the success of Battleship, Hasbro has been actively trying to get more of their properties onto the big screen. One of them being is Hungry Hungry Hippos, which is currently described as being actively in the works. So let’s shit this out before them. This will of course be an animated feature.
Hungry Hungry Hippos
We open on a family of Hippos (off to a great start!).
They are hanging in a river bathing. The young hippo, Curtis, voiced be Zac Effron, complains that he is hungry. His father tells him about some circle of life bullshit and how they only eat their share.
Curtis runs off to explore by himself and happens upon an Aid station and see’s their store of food they use to help the locals. Our focus flips to the aid workers. Our main human character Steve, voiced by Jay Baruchel, is a helpless romantic. We see he likes a girl that works there with him and we see him try to talk to her. Her name is Becky, voiced by Aubrey Plaza. She doesn’t get that he likes her and asks him to go get another crate of food. Steve goes into the food tent and finds Curtis eating the food. He screams and tries to run, comically falling over things. Curtis says he is sorry, STEVE CAN UNDERSTAND HIM!
They have that weird we can understand each other conversation movies do that are entirely too short and calm, but are interrupted by Becky. Steve does his best to get her out of the tent and get Curtis out the back. The two tumble away down a sand dune, and they walk towards the river where Curtis’ family was. Curtis mentions that he noticed how Steve was around Becky. The two talk about Steve’s troubles with ladies.
They arrive at the river but Curtis’s family is not there! They are attacked by a bask of crocodiles, but escape. The two go on a fun trip together where they learn more about the balance of life. Curtis see’s how there are people all around him that are also hungry hungry. They have more adventures and Steve becomes brave and is able to talk to Becky and Curtis finds his family.
I hated every part of this. I hope you do too.
You wish I hated this but I am hungry hungry for more!