Category Archives: Movie Movie News

Fake Movie Friday – Good Cop, Dad Cop

It’s been a very long time since I’ve writted a Fake Movie because I’ve been incredibly busy, but I promise to get these out more regularly.

Anyway…

Good Cop, Dad Cop

Jake Hart is a newly minted detective in the NYPD.  He’s brought down some of the largest gangs in New York while working on the task force.  He’s good at what he does, and he does it by the book.  Police chief Raines likes him so much that he tells him as good as he is on the gang task force, he’d like to see him where he could more, and that’s on the drug enforcement force.  Jake is very hesitant to take the position.  He thinks he’s better served where he is, but then the chief tells him there hasn’t been a cop on the force assigned to drugs this young ever, except for FLINT HARTMAN 20 years ago.  (the screen jump cuts to Flint Harman, chomping on a cigar, blowing away bad guys left and right before ever getting any information from them, whilst laughing).  The chief says, “you should hope to be half the man Flint Hartman is.” Jake says, “I don’t have to, because I am.”

TITLE CARD: GOOD COP, DAD COP and the movie starts.

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Kitsch is back and this time he’s angry

Taylor Kitsch may have had arguably the worst year in film last year.  A year where he was poised to be a breakout star in can’t miss films like John Carter, Battleship, and Oliver Stone’s return to form, Savages, he instead became the butt of most snarky bloggers’ jokes.  Sucks. I’m sure other actors had worse years, but probably not one who was supposed to become a megastar.

It looks like Kitsch may have learned his lesson as he’s taking some different roles in 2013.  We’ve reported on the others, so I wont get into them, but he recently signed on to play the villain in Exit 147.  It is written by Travis Malloy, who wrote the underrated Pandorum, and will be directed by Julian Jarrold, of Kinky Boots and the forever-in-my-netflix-queue’s Red Riding trilogy.  Based on the talent behind the camera, I think Kitsch might be able to play a small town sheriff who terrorizes a man who gets stuck in the town.  Or maybe he can’t, but I think this is a much safer role, and a much smaller film, so that even if it’s a giant failure it’s not a historically epic one.

We’ll see!

 

p.s. This might be my 5th Taylor Kitsch post.  I just like the guy

Fake Movie Friday: Mirror Image

Ice-T has a new book coming out, his first foray (is that the right word?) into the world of fiction writing, in May titled Mirror Image that I just got a advance copy of. Colm then suggested I use that title for my FMF this week. So I bring you:

Mirror Image

Some high school, Middle America. Stacey is completely uncool. Half of the time it seems like there is no reason for it. Her friend Heather is extraordinarily popular with everyone. When Heather is in a group of people, Stacey will just leave them be and maybe wave. Heather’s friends will always make fun of Stacey, but Heather defends her though she won’t stop hanging out with those people. Stacey is a brunette, short, stocky, with curly hair, acne, glasses and brown eyes. Heather is a medium height blonde with pale blue eyes, straight hair and perfect complexion.

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Harrison Ford will be back for Episode VII

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According to Latino Review Harrison Ford will be back as Han Solo in the J.J.’s Star Wars movie. There seems to be a lot of cynicism over the news with people bringing up Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I get where they are coming from, but I think this could totally work. I’m all for bringing back Luke, Leia, and Han, with two reservations. One, they have to be mindful of what, as Devin Faraci calls it, “small universe crap”. That is, it seems like the universe revolves around the Skywalker family. And two, they have to kill off Luke, Leia or Han. It would give this new trilogy emotional weight, and allow the story to continue forward without being tied to much to the original trilogy. Just like Qui-Gon Jinn in Episode I and Obi-Wan in Episode IV, someone should die in this movie.

Via Latino Review

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Jason Momoa cast in Guardians of the Galaxy

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The rumor is that Jason Momoa has been cast as Drax in James Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy. This seems like dead on casting to me based. My only reservation is I really only know him from Game of Thrones, so I haven’t really seen him speak English… I’m not too worried because critics seemed to like him in Bullet in the Head, and from my recollection of the comic, Drax wasn’t overly chatty. If this turns out to be true, it would be in keeping with Marvel’s track record of giving actors their first really big break.

Via Slash Film

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Fake Movie Friday Submissions- The Dinosaurs are Extinct and So Is Love

Lisa LoFaso:

The other day Tigs randomly gchatted me asking for ideas for titles of emo songs, and after coming up with a few I came up with this title. I liked it so much I decided to make it a movie. But the movie’s not emo at all, it’s pretty fun. So here goes:

The Dinosaurs are Extinct and So Is Love
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Fake Movie Friday- Valentine’s Day Massacre

Day off y’all! Miss Caity Roarke had a birthday this week and I graciously gave her naming duties for this week’s film. She really knocked it out of the park in terms of originality (EYE ROLL). This film has the best opening scene I’ve ever written.

Valentine’s Day Massacre

Movie opens with 2 people fucking.
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Danny Boyle’s Trance Red Band Trailer

Danny Boyle is one of the most interesting directors working today because every movie he makes is totally different from the one before. I wasn’t blown away by the Green Band trailer that came out a little bit ago, but this Red Band trailer is nuts. Definitely give this one a watch.

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Fake Movie Friday- Where’s the Spinach?

Over dinner I asked Adam and Evelyn to give me a title. After Adam suggested ‘MS DOS: The Movie’ I thought I would never get a good one. Then the following question was asked, and afterwards I was told that it would be my title. Critics who throw the word around like it was candy could describe this film as “whimsical.”

Where’s the Spinach?
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Fake Movie Friday: Fever Dream Monsters

So I think I did a similar movie two weeks or so ago (and plenty of times before that), but no one read it so whatever. Colm gave me the title:

Fever Dream Monsters

Rachel has just moved into a small, pastoral, midwestern town. Very few of the other towns folk like her, and she’s not incredibly likable anyway. She very standoffish and stands out even more because of her all black, goth appearance. She opened up a tattoo parlor there, Evil Ink, in hopes to freak out some citizens and attract others. Which it does. The small fan base she has are other outcasts from the town, and mostly younger than Rachel. She seems to attract the high school emo kids and those coming back from college. Continue reading

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