Category Archives: Movie Movie News

Fake Movie Friday: Man Before Time

Last night was Pig Pile 50! What a glorious occasion. I believe the local papers said FUN NIGHT HAD BY ALL. Title comes from Adam and I’m having a hard time coming up with an idea. It’s week 90, Only 12 more until 2 years!

Man Before Time

A man is standing at an almost  full chalkboard. He gazes at it pondering the calculations with chalk all over his jacket. A woman enters. She apologizes for intruded and they talk a bit. He’s awkward and shy while she is more forward. Laura tells Samuel all about her writing/philosophy major and questions him about his theoretical physics work. He tells her about his theories on time travel. She laughs at first but sees the passion in his eyes. She warns him to be careful and not mess up history, about mistakenly eliminating species or even creating religions.

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Fake Movie Friday: Puppy Love

I feel like crap. I ate entirely too many empanadas last night. I would eat that many again in a heart beat, don’t get me wrong. But i’m still a damaged man because of it. Title from the sharp mind, yet equally empanada damaged bowels of Tigs. It’s an R rated romantic comedy with a magical dog.

Puppy Love

Dave sits on his stoop. A shirt floats down in front of him. It is followed by more clothes as the camera pans up to a window. A woman is screaming and tossing clothes out the window.

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Fake Movie Friday: The Pamplona Job

Happy New Year Friends. Since December is over and Oscar contention is over it is now January, which is a bit of a dump month. So I’m going to return to really stupid film ideas. LOL JK thats what this always is. This title came from, you guessed it, Tigs.

The Pamplona Job

A man turns he corner running, and the screen freezes. In voiceover “That’s me.” The scene continues as we see he is being chased by several bulls. Freeze VO: “My names Donald.”  The scene continues once more as a bull flips him up into the air. Freeze, VO: “and believe it or not, this is all part of the plan.”

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Fake Movie Friday: Bear Song

Greetings all! Hope everyone is enjoying their holiday season. I’m talking about Oscar-bait season of course. Did everyone’s grandmothers see the Book Thief? All my films this month have been sad and serious with a “great deal” of “Oscar potential.” Keeping that going this week with a wonderful title from a wonderful Tigs.

Bear Song

We open in the past as a  Native American infant sits alone in the woods by a stream. It’s mother is by the water filling a jug. Behind him we see a large bear begin to approach. The infant begins to cry and we see the mother drop the water and start coming towards it. The woman begins to sing a song quietly and the bear stops. She stands in between the child and the bear and continues to sing. The bear turns and walks off.

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Fake Movie Friday: The Old Dragon

Hi friends! Last night at Pig Pile someone suggested The Matchmaker, which is already a Janeane Garolalo film from 1997. As I stated this on stage it was a crushing realization of what my life is like. Then someone said this title so let’s concentrate a bit more on the task at hand and less about my knowledge of late 90s romantic comedies.

The Old Dragon

We open on a small Kentucky town. There is a siren going off and people are running into the streets looking up at the mountain. There is a rumbling heard as the people come together looking frightened. We time jump ahead a bit as a young boy, Arnold,  walks through the woods. The wind starts to blow around him and a large shadow creeps above him. We hear the sound of huge wings breaking the air as he cowers in fear.

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Fake Movie Friday: Scratching Hogs

So my company had our 3rd quarter regional meeting/holiday party today. I wrote this during the meeting and am now pretty drunk to type it out. This title comes from a very strange story that was a part of the meeting today.

Scratching Hogs

Movie opens on Davie, a young boy sitting on the fence of a hog pen. He is scratching the back of a large hog.The camera pans behind him and we see  the farm he lives on. In the driveway is a beat up old truck but then a much fancier car. We hear arguing from the house.

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Fake Movie Friday: Two Dogs

So I had panicked last week as the always dependable Tigs was not getting back to me on Gchat. In my desperation I turned to Adam. Little did i know, while I was writing last weeks Tigs had sent me a huge list of titles. He is a god amoungst men. I’ve decided to take one of the simpler titles since I haven’t written a kids film in quite some time.

Two Dogs

We open on Sam, a small boy sitting in a tiny black suit in the middle of a room of people in suits. We over hear them talking about his parents recently died in a car accident and how it is such a tragedy. We hear that it will be Sam’s uncle Jack who will be taking him in. Sam just sits there without expression. (KIDS FILM!)

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Fake Movie Friday: Ringo Starr’s The Drummer

I’m so damn beat.  Only worked half a day and then took a 3 hour nap. I have zero ideas and no answer from Tigs to help me with a title. I am lost. Adam to the rescue, well not really. According to him this is produced by him like “Oprah’s The Butler.” What ever that means, here we go.

Ringo Starr’s The Drummer

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Fake Movie Friday: Reality Bites Back

Title this week comes from the one and only Declan Golden from Pig Pile last night. I spent some time thinking of ideas on the toilet just now and I’ve decided on this one. Instead of just a sequel to Reality Bites. Here we go!

Reality Bites Back

The camera sweep over a futuristic looking city. Flying cars, massive buildings, elevated rail systems are everywhere. Text comes on the screen saying “New York City 2013”

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Fake Movie Friday: Late Again

So Playstation 4 came out yesterday. I talked to Tigs all day and was freaking out waiting for it to get delivered to my office. When it finally did I could not concentrate on ANYTHING. So clearly I forgot about writing a movie. So for the 3rd time in 81 weeks, here is a movie on Saturday

Late Again

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