So I know I’m a bit late for an X-mas movie but I was given this title and by golly I will write it.
The President Got Ran Over By A Reindeer
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So I know I’m a bit late for an X-mas movie but I was given this title and by golly I will write it.
The President Got Ran Over By A Reindeer
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Uh oh, am I the first this week? Welp, after an overly caustic morning I’m going to try and write something super crazy in a short amount of time. I honestly have no energy right now but let’s try and make this work. Colm gave me the movie title of…
The Nexus
David is driving home from work on what can only be described, up until this point, as a normal Tuesday. Stuck at a red-light David checks his rear view mirror out of habit and notices himself driving the car behind him. Startled he keeps staring until the honking of horns breaks his concentration and he drives through the light. When David looks back, the doppelganger is gone.
So I’m in the office when I don’t have to listening to the Les Mis soundtrack for about the 54592th time and this jumped into my brain. A 1970’s rollerskating film.
The Mystic
The Mystic is THE friday night spot for red blooded American teens in Bainesville, Indiana. It’s a pretty boring town, without a lot of excitement, except for these friday nights. The high schoolers all go The Mystic. It’s the most happening rollerskating rink around. Cue a scene of a bunch of kids rollerskating around and doing tricks while typical 70’s music plays. DJ Goodvibes announces the star rollerskating duo, FlashFunk are about to take to the rink and perform a new routine. It’s really really good and we pan closer to a kid watching them named Dale. He’s a good skater, but aspires to be as good as these guys. After they perform he asks if they can give him some pointers. They say sure and take Dale under their wing. This makes him more popular than he’s ever been. He gets home late that night and his single father is pissed. Says dancing wont get him anywhere in life blah blah blah.
Alright this is going to be a quick one. I’m incredibly sick at the moment, my head is spinning a good bit, but I can still type. This weeks movie, a suggestion from Colm, is:
The Winds of Essex
We open in 1884, the rail road is almost done being built, finally providing easy access to the rest of England. Matilda is the owner of a dress shop has been doing rather well for herself. All of the folks around town like her very much. Continue reading
So instead of giving you guys a fake movie friday last week, I thought I’d save my shitty take on a christmas movie, but also make a sequel at the same time.
Dude Where’s My Baby
The film opens up on Jesse (Ashton Kutcher) and Wanda (Jennifer Garner) calling Chester (Seann William Scott) and Wilma (Marla Sokoloff) and asking how the baby is. Chester says the baby is totally “shibby” and that they’re so happy to have little rugmuncher around the house. Jesse says that if they need anything (while making body language to suggest weed smoking) to call him. Chester says thanks and the movie starts. Wilma now has a high powered business lady job in the city and Chester is a house-husband. So he and the baby, named Tiger have a really great connection. Wilma reminds him that her parents are coming for Christmas Eve dinner, so he and Tiger need to be on their best behavior. Chester says of course and tells her they are going to run some errands all day and chill and stuff, but they’ll be fine. We cut to Chester at the supermarket in the snacks aisle. The baby is like at that age where it can walk, but not like talk a bunch FYI. Anyway, Chester sees what looks like a mugging from the other aisle, and when he turns to grab Tiger and leave she’s gone, cue the classic line, Dude Wheres My Baby?
Ok super long day at work and totally might have forgotten about this. Here’s the title I got from last nights Pig Pile.
Honey! I Ate The Vacuum
Movie begins with a women getting up out of bed. She gets breakfast ready, she does laundry and we see this is all before the kids wake up. Her two children finally come down to eat and they sit down as a family. One seat is missing and she sighs. She gets up and walks to a door leading to the basement.
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I think this was the suggestion of a movie title I got last night. I cannot remember at this point… but it was something like this.
Bumpkin
In the Chisslewood Forest that is in the land of Blissington there lives a society of elves. A very human like society with schools, hospitals etc, except that everything used is magic. They teach magic, read books about magic, all their songs have the word magic in the title (along with some human songs with magic in the title), they cure disease with magic. They have a magic mirror which transports them to the human world through the clouds, but it is forbidden to do so unless you are told explicitly by the Calelf, the ruler of all of Blissington. There are also three androgynous siblings, Bumpkin, Trumpkin and Mumpkin. Continue reading
So I have an original story in the backburner, so I’ll toss this out for now. It’s paced like Forest Gump and The People Vs. Larry Flynt, in that it has some comedic bits, but is really a true story that feels like a tall tale.
I’m doing a biopic of that crazy guy who ran for office, Jimmy McMillan. He will be played by Samuel L. Jackson and the bulk of the story will be told as a flashback in a courtroom. We open on a prosecutor, played by Ed Norton who is trying to convince a jury that Jimmy McMillan deserves to spend the rest of his life in jail after he causes a near riot in NYC during an Occupy Wall Street demonstration. Jimmy, defending himself says everything he’s ever done, he’s done for the people and then the flashbacks start.
Vietnam Flashback. Typical music plays and we see Jimmy the hero, saving his entire platoon but falling in love with a vietnamese woman. Jimmy decides to stay there, but his captain kills the vietnamese woman. Jimmy then sees the true evil of war and demands to come home.
Flash to his life in Brooklyn. We see Jimmy struggles to integrate into society and even does a few enforcer type jobs for drug dealers. He knows its wrong, but the world has forgotten about Jimmy. He later becomes a professional wrestler, and reaches the heights of popularity, before a steroid scandal forces him into retirement.
(between each flash we go back to the courtroom and various other witnesses being examined by the prosecutor or Jimmy)
Flash to his life trying to get into politics. Jimmy is never taken seriously, especially when running for Gov, but during Occupy Wall Street, his rally “The Rent is 2 Damn High” finally gains traction and Jimmy becomes the voice of the OWS movement and the voice of the voiceless. The police, one of which is totally Michael Rapaport try and stop Jimmy’s rally, but the people are behind him and they fight the cops and two 20-something’s die in the process.
This is blamed on Jimmy, which brings us back to the courtroom. Jimmy delivers an empowering final speech about how his whole life he’s been kept down, people have been kept down, and even this lawsuit is a way to keep the people down, but THE RENT IS 2 DAMN HIGH! He keeps saying it as the judge slams the gavel. The people of the courtroom are saying it now, even the jury. They rule that he is not guilty, but the judge finds him in contempt and he spends a year in jail. In jail, we see that Jimmy is able to connect with younger criminals and help them turn their lives around. Jimmy is finally the hero we always thought he could be.
So, I did the Hobbit at midnight last night. Took the day out of work, and told myself around 3 that meant I could work on my FMF and get it out early. Then I fell asleep until 630. So here it is late!
Trip Van Winkle
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Colm tried to give me a very happy title of a movie, which I enjoy. Here we go!
Bright Sunshine and The Well Lit Room
Dan is a shut in. He’s a germaphobe and keeps his room incredibly clean. His whole room is encased in plastic, he lives like the boy in the bubble but he never leaves his room for anything. He orders all of the food he needs online as well as everything else that he needs.