Category Archives: Fake Movie Friday

Fake Movie Friday Vol 2 – Blood Orange

bloodorange

Blood Orange

Title suggestion from Tigs.

We open on an orange grove. Florida. Sunny and hot. A man wearing a sweat-stained white T-shirt walks into the frame. Hes got perfectly messed up hair and is the weird looking actor who plays Pete Campbell on Mad Men (Vincent Kartheiser). He has a reporters notebook sticking out of his back left pocket. Hes a bit nervous. He chews the cap of a blue Bic pen and twirls the pen in his right hand.

We follow him walking down rows of orange trees, camera close on his back, for what feels like an hour. Movie credits every single movie credit, even for things like art direction and costume designer appear on the bottom of the screen in bright white letters like movies used to do in the 1960 and 1970s and cool directors like Tarrantino still do today. Off-key ambient music plays.

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FAKE MOVIE FRIDAY VOL 2: Always a Groomsman

Holy crap they brought it back! I had to join the fun. After the show last night Alex, Cargile and I were talking about an idea for a movie, and I had to write it up as my first returning Fake Movie Friday. Here goes:

Always a Groomsman

Chet (Miles Teller) sits by himself at a bar. He looks miserable. The bar is packed, but he nods to the bar tender who immediately comes over, pours him a shot of top shelf whiskey which Chet makes disappear. The bartender puts out 10 shot glasses but fills them with bottom shelf whiskey this time. Chet gives the bartender another knowing look, and turns around. He looks like a different person, happy as hell and yells, “who wants to get fucked up!” to which the bachalear party he was with the whole time scream like idiots.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2- Gremlins in Paradise: Mogwai Luau

Holy shit we are back! After Andrew published the book of the original run of FMF we all got the bug. So last night at the 7th Anniversary Show of Pig Pile we all took movie suggestions! Let’s see how many weeks I last this time around.

Gremlins in Paradise: Mogwai Luau

We open on a plane. People are smoking on it so we can tell it’s the early 90s even without the terrible fashion. We pan to find Billy and Kate, now played by Andrew Garfield and Maika Monroe, sitting together clearly dressed for a tropical vacation. This will be a sequel/soft reboot to set up a new franchise. One of those movies that takes entirely too long to start because it thinks it has a lot of work to do.

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Fake Movie Friday Vol 2: December Twice

WE’RE BACK! That’s right, it’s been a long time but we all got movie title suggestions last night at our show and it feels great to be doing this again. Since we haven’t done these in a while, I feel like I wrote forever and these are crazy long – nothing has changed. I had two ideas for my title last night, and instead of choosing one or the other, or trying to blend them together somehow I just wrote two. Now, without further ado, welcome back everyone to Fake Movie Friday! 2,185 words ahead of you, you’ve been warned. Enjoy!

December Twice 

At 6 am the radio alarm goes off “The skies are clear but bring a jacket with you, it’s a very chilly December 1st”. Jim October lifts his head up slowly, hits the snooze button on the radio and goes back to sleep. At 945 he opens his eyes, sees what time it is, shouts expletives and rushes to get ready. There’s a montage of him showering, et al to that Ryan Adams song “To Be Young” culminating in him being stuck in traffic as we turns down the radio to turn the song off for the audience. 

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Fake Movie Friday Year Two Spectacular

Hello Friends. It’s week 104. Here ends year two of Fake Movie Friday. Thank you everyone for the support over the last two years. If you’ve ever given me a title, I love you. If you’ve ever read one, I love you. Huge thanks to all the friends who have tried their hand at writing one over the last two years.Very special shout out to Russ and Andrew who wrote a ton of films and helped the site a great deal when we used to actually post here. Of course none of this would be possible without Tigs, writer of over 52 films, and who gave me more 7 or 8 brilliant titles to choose from almost every week of this second year. Check facebook for the maybe 20 other titles of his I didn’t use this week.

I got a ton of titles on Facebook this week. I’m skipping the ones that have already written themselves/have a built in plot/were jokes. That’s not what Fake Movie Friday is about. But thanks to all. I’m sorry if I didn’t get to your title.

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Fake Movie Friday: Everlasting Never

So close to glory. One week away from triumph. One more week of futility. Title comes from Tigs, the alpha to my omega, if those things are secret lovers.

Everlasting Never 

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Fake Movie Friday: Black and Forthe

I wrote an outline for this at my regional meeting today. The title that I was originally going to work from was Back and Forth, but I think it was one of my finer ideas to change it to this.

Black and Forthe

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Fake Movie Friday: Buck, Naked

I’m writing this on Thursday. I just asked Tigs (my moon and my stars) for a title and he got mad, and was hoping I would have forgotten and he could spring this on me tomorrow in NOLA. Well since my one supporter wishes me to forget then I think that means I can’t stop at 2 years. I must keep going!

Buck, Naked

We open with Dale in his office. He works as a real estate agent in a town just outside a big city. He looks bored at his desk. His boss calls him in and tells him that he’ll be taking a big listing from him. Dale is peeved, but keeps it together. his boss gives him a different listing. Somewhere a bit out of town by the woods. He leaves his bosses office and is chatted up by Christy, the secretary. He heads home early a bit upset. When he gets there he finds his girlfriend in bed with the neighbor. They fight and she leaves only to go next door and stay with him.

The next day he gets up and heads to the new listing. He cleans up a bit and such to get ready to show it. He opens the curtain to the sliding door leading to the backyards and in the woods catches a glimpse of a fully nude man walking by. He double takes and loses sight of him. He continues with his work and has a family come look at the house. He is showing them around and notices the naked man again. He does his best to keep the family from the windows. He is unsuccessful and the family leaves in disgust, not liking the neighborhood.

Dale heads out into the woods in search of the man. He finds a small camp set up and starts looking around. He turns to find the naked man, who turns out to be a super friendly laid back man named Buck. Buck lives in the woods away from society and doesn’t believe in clothes. Dale tries to get him to leave the area so he can sell the house but Buck is just to sweet and the two end up hanging out and talking. Dale tells Buck a bit about his recent problems and actually feels a bit better. Buck tells him that he’ll try his best to stay out of sight.

Later Dale answers his door to find his ex crying. She is trying to apologize and says she made a mistake. Dale is a bit sympathetic but is interrupted by the doorbell ringing. He opens it to find Buck, still naked. Dale is shocked as Buck walks past him into the house. Dale’s ex screams as Dale tries to explain what is happening. She gets weird and Buck is completely friendly and introduces himself.  He tell Dale that he got his address from the Real Estate company. Dale’s ex leaves. Buck feels bad but tells Dale that getting back together with her was a bad idea anyway. The two end up hanging out and having a good night.

Buck tells him all about how being nude can help you get a much better feel for your surroundings. Dale heads to the listing and takes off his clothes. He feels great and runs around the house making some minor adjustments to things and the house looks great. He ends up getting a family the next day to put in a offer. He heads home excited and sits around his house nude. He begins moving things around and someone knocks on the door. He answers it nude without thinking and is met with Christy. She gasps and he shuts the door, grabbing a robe, and apologizing. She was stopping by to bring him some paperwork for the house. He tells her a bit about Buck and they end up having a great time. She kisses him quickly before leaving.

The next day at work he gets into trouble for sitting in his office nude. His boss tells him he knows his girlfriend left but he needs to pull himself together. He tells Dale he’ll be taking over the house he just got a family to put a bid in on, a development is interested in the land and would be a bigger deal. Dale heads into the woods to hang with Buck, the both of them naked. They decide to start messing with Dale’s boss. They ruin the development deal being all around the area nude and Dale is fired. Buck tells the boss that he is fired. The boss is confused and it turns out Buck owns the house and all the land around it. He was interested in selling but now he has decided to keep it.  The boss turns in a huff and tells Christy to come with him. She instead takes her clothes off and joins Buck and Dale. We cut ahead and they all live in the house and surrounding woods. They have been joined by others in a small nudest group.

 

The End

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Fake Movie Friday: 100 Knights

Hey look! It’s week 100. I have so many people to thank. Not, really. Just Tigs, the Brando Moreau to my weird tiny dude. But anyway, as I’ve said, really more excited for 104, bringing me to 2 years of wasting my time and yours.

100 Knights

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Fake Movie Friday: Don’t Let Them In

So I’m not entirely sure what the nice gal at Pig Pile last night said. The title may or may not have had don’t. Whatever. Jaspers lost so life is meaningless. Been doing a lot of horror stuff lately and this just screams it.

Don’t Let Them In

We start at on old farm, the wind rustles and the corn starts moving in a strange way, like an unseen force is pushing through it. An old man stands by the door looking around though he sees nothing. He turns and walks back down the hall but hear’s a voice say ‘Help.’ He turns to see a small child in rags at the door. He lets the child in, and the wind pushes him back. The door is hard to close as if something is pushing from the other side. We cut to a wide shot of the house, the mans scream is heard, we cut to day time, the house looks decades older is in shambles.

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