That headline is no Why-lander, so please, no applause. Let me be honest with you-
‘Piranha 3D’ was one of my favorite movies of 2010 and I could not be more excited for the sequel.
Movie Movie Podcast
Today the Pond, Tomorrow the World
Category Archives: Absolute Horse-shit News
“Ya Know What Needs A Remake? The EXORCIST, Bro!” – Worst Executive Ever
Yup. The Exorcist is being remade as a ten part miniseries. Why? Cause why not, that’s why. What grinds my gears about this even more is that that Sean Durkin is shepherding this project. Durkin wrote last years almost perfect Martha Marcy May Marlene. In my opinion, the best or second best film of last year (Attack the Block, and Shame are close competitors). Why would such a talented writer/director with such a bright future in the business, be attached to something like this with such a high failure rate? I just don’t get it sometimes. Do I doubt that he’ll be able to craft a great story even though a 2 hr film is being stretched into 10 hrs? Yes I do. But why take arguably one of the scariest and well done horror films ever made and re-do it? Why not make something new and exciting? Fucking fuck.
I hate everything. Unless Elizabeth Olsen signs on, and agrees to show her boobies.
News to Ruin Your Day… in 3D!
‘GI Joe: Retaliation’ was scheduled to come out June 29th, just a little over a month away. Not anymore.
The film is being delayed 9 months until March 2013. The reason for the delay being (loud audible sigh) post 3D conversion. This is awful news.
All of Rihanna’s dialogue from Battleship
Movie Movie Supplement! And not that stuff you would find in a weird smelling new age store (no offense to our weird smelling new age store owning readers, but seriously it’s weird; to our normal smelling new age store owners, keep up the good work!). I found this list on http://gammasquad.uproxx.com, so all credit goes to them for this. Well them and Rihanna. 68 lines in total, the same number of lines Orson Wells speaks in The Third Man (that’s a lie):
But With Parkour!
Red Bull, yes the energy drink, have announced plans to produce a movie? What is it you ask? Probably an extreme sports documentary? A Tony Hawk bio-pic? Maybe an update of ‘Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines’ but with flutag?
No you dumb bastard, its an updated version of ‘Oliver Twist’ simply entitled ‘Twist.’ Here’s the twist, it will be set in present day focussing mainly on Fagin’s gang
WITH PARKOUR!
Galleries of parkour photos can be seen at https://thebestparkourgear.com/
Tune in weekly for your fair share of inspiration.
“I want some more”
“Don’t you say please boy?”
“NO!” *flips across table and out small window*
I Don’t Want To Talk About This Too: More Bullshit
Yes, while we all got the unfortunate news that Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are making The Starving Games, I hope it is not lost on the viewing public that they have already made another turd-in-waiting for this year titled “The Biggest Movie Of All Time 3D”
The poster alone pretty much sums up how asinine this film is going to be. Get it? It’s a rip-off of Avatar! The movie that came out 3 years ago and is no longer really even relevant is finally getting it’s comeuppance. This is the timing equivalent of making a joke about The Osbournes. And look at this fucking poster. It is supposed to be a Na’vi woman, but it’s FUNNY because the words are between her nose and to read them her eyes have to be crossed! If you think that is funny, I know I hate you and know you don’t deserve to live. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? No one can even answer that question and that’s the worst part. This movie will even probably make enough money to justify it’s budget.
We have to stop them.
I Don’t Want To Talk About This
I really don’t. It hurts too much. It just makes me so angry. This shouldn’t exist. I should have to live in the same world as such things.
The guys that made Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie, and Vampires Suck are being given more money to make another film-
The Starving Games
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