Monthly Archives: January 2013

Fake Movie Friday: Stargazer

Too often now a days I have no idea what to write and I just come back to writing the same movie I’ve written dozens of times before. So why should this week be any different?? I’m in some hot water at work right now, I’ll have to make this a quick one. Colm gave me some title suggestions, but I’m ignoring all of them. We also talked about the end of Mass Effect 3 and he mentioned the final scene and this character, so this movie will be titled:

Stargazer

We start in 2005, before the financial crisis. Jeff is the president of some big Wall Street firm that is doing incredible well. There are parties, lots of drugs, and it’s a crazy time. Jeff is going wild, everyone loves him, it’s a great time. Continue reading

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Fake Movie Friday: Tampered Expectations

The great John Tiglias gave me this title. So I named the main character after him. It’s INDIE yo!


Tampered Expectations

Our main character John sits on his couch staring at the wall. Pacing back and forth in front of him his a Hannah. She is yelling at him, but we don’t see her face. We only get bits and pieces as the sound is going in and out, but it’s clear she is breaking up with him and moving out. Words like immature and aimless are heard. Sound clears up and she asks “are you even listening?” He only says “I can be better?” She laughs and walks away, as he actually says this as a question.

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Movie Movie Podcast #29: Django: Miserable, Thirty

Let’s wrap start wrapping up 2012 shall we? Before we do our end of the year podcast and top ten lists there were a couple of super giant releases we needed to talk about. Join Alex, Russ, Peter and myself as we sing our praises for Les Misérables, have our thoughts on Zero Dark Thirty redacted (not really), and touch on the hot button issue that is Django Unchained. Recorded on January 8th 2012.

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Predictions for 2013

Warm Bodies will be better than World War Z

With all the reshoots that have happened with World War Z and the fact that they brought on Damon Lindelof to help write a new ending (*shudder*) this isn’t that bold of a prediction. That said, if someone had told me a few years ago that they were making an adaptation of a zombie book that I really liked, and it would be the first epic scoped big budget blockbuster zombie movie, but that I was more excited about a movie that is basically Twilight with zombies I wouldn’t have believed them. I do really like the imagery of the World War Z trailer but I can’t shake the feeling that it will just be a straight ahead hero’s story starring Brad Pitt that happens to feature zombies. Hopefully both films will be good, but If I had to place my bets, Warm Bodies will be significantly better than WWZ.

Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug will be divisive.

I was a bit surprised with how divisive An Unexpected Journey was. I knew it wasn’t going to get the same glowing reviews the LOTR films got because it isn’t the underdog that those films were. Critics complained the Peter Jackson was repeating himself (which is why he was so reluctant initially to do the Hobbit), complained about length (ironic considering the number of films that that were also 2 hours and 45 minutes: Les Mis, Zero Dark Thirty, Django etc), and that it had been split into three films. Yet viewers generally embraced the film judging from the box office. I predict that The Desolation of Smaug will be even more divisive than the first. I suspect that the middle chapter will have a lot more added material than the first, and critics will continue their complaining about PJ being indulgent, I mean if they had a problem with Azog the Defiler not being in the book, how will they feel about Evangeline Lilly’s character who wasn’t even created by Tolkien? Yet even the most negative reviews will point out how great the scene is will Bilbo talking in riddles to Smaug (just as they said about the Gollum and Bilbo in the first) and they will say it is because Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch have chemistry from Sherlock.

After having a conversation with Pete, here is my hope/prediction about the structure of the next two films:

Desolation of Smaug – Starts with a flashback of Gandalf getting the key and map from Thorin’s father to put the focus on the Necromancer and Dol Guldur. The story from the book will continue without too many changes except that when Gandalf is gone we see him investigating Dol Guldur. The Smaug/Bilbo scene will take place towards the end of the film, similarly to the Riddles in the Dark in the first one. The movie will end with the Battle of Dol Guldur, and at the very end to set up the next one Gandalf will say something about how the dragon still lives, and might even bring up the concept of greed.

There and Back Again: This one will be insanely action packed. There will be a big battle scene with Smaug, and then the Battle of the Five Armies will rival anything in the LOTR trilogy.

High Frame Rate

I predict that at least one major movie will announce that it will be shot in High Frame Rate (my guess is the next X-Men film). No matter what your thoughts are on HFR you should really read this article on Collider . It does a great job of explaining where the negative reactions were coming from. While I personally didn’t enjoy it and it actually dampened my enjoyment while watching The Hobbit, it is easy to see the benefits. There is an overhead shot in Django of people walking on a road and then a huge location title that fills the entire screen moves from right to left across the length of it. I noticed the “strobing” effect so much that it actually hurt my eyes. I really wished The Hobbit wasn’t the first HFR movie, but rather a documentary film like Baraka or Koyaanisqatsi, or a an animated movie. 24 fps is an artifact from another time and there is no reason to think that it can’t be improved upon, and with directors like Cronenberg singing its praises it is not to hard to imagine some other upcoming film project deciding to shot in HFR (not including the next two Hobbit movies or the next two Avatars which will be released in HFR).

Marvel Phase 2 movie reviews will all refer to the Avengers

That’s not much of a prediction, Avengers was one of the biggest movies ever, and this will be the first time since then that we will see the same characters. But specifically I predict that most reviews will say how Iron Man and Thor should have just called in his Avengers friends to help them defeat the villain. It will be just like the Eagles in The Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit (why didn’t they just fly them to Mount Doom/The Lonely Mountain), where no matter what the reasons why that wouldn’t/shouldn’t happen (They are a sentient race and not transportation, The Eagles would be corrupted by the ring, then there wouldn’t be a movie… etc ), critics will feel clever when they say it.

Disney will announce another Star Wars film that isn’t Episode VII, VIII, or IX

This is the most unlikely out of all my predictions but there was talk of Disney doing a Star Wars movie every year or two, and with talk of Lawrence Kasdan working on a Star Wars project that isn’t Episode VIII or IX, it is possible. The film will be scheduled for a 2016 but more likely 2017 release, and they will use words like “dark” and “gritty” to describe it (maybe it will be a bounty hunter movie that people seem to think would be a good idea)

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Fake Movie Friday: The President Got Ran Over By A Reindeer

So I know I’m a bit late for an X-mas movie but I was given this title and by golly I will write it.

The President Got Ran Over By A Reindeer
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Fake Movie Friday: The Nexus

Uh oh, am I the first this week? Welp, after an overly caustic morning I’m going to try and write something super crazy in a short amount of time. I honestly have no energy right now but let’s try and make this work. Colm gave me the movie title of…

The Nexus

David is driving home from work on what can only be described, up until this point, as a normal Tuesday. Stuck at a red-light David checks his rear view mirror out of habit and notices himself driving the car behind him. Startled he keeps staring until the honking of horns breaks his concentration and he drives through the light. When David looks back, the doppelganger is gone.

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Movie Movie Podcast #28: This is Reacher

Another doozy of a podcast and I finally got the gallery to work again! You’ll have to take my word for it about this week being a doozy of a podcast. A real, hardcore, sweaty, intense, raw dog doozy of a podcast. And I write this hours, if not days, before we are set to record our next podcast! That’s how much of a doozy it is. Join Russ, Alex, Peter and myself as we argue about Jack Reacher and This is 40. Again, I assume we’re going to argue, we haven’t recorded it yet, but if anyone liked either of those two movies… well wait and see. Recorded on January 2nd 2013.

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