Monthly Archives: May 2012

Why So Laid Back?

It doesnt seem like Nolan and company are really trying this time around.
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Face Stomp 2

Ryan Gosling and writer/director Nicolas Winding Refn destroyed expectations as well as faces with last years ‘Drive.’ They are currently reteaming for ‘Only God Forgives.’ Here’s the synopsis from IMDB.COM

A Bangkok police lieutenant and a gangster settle their differences in a Thai-boxing match.

Footage was recently shown at Cannes. It has been described as being just as violent at ‘Drive’, which is leading to speculation that this will be even more violent.

Not sure about this.

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Fake Movie Friday: Burger Time

Here’s my film. It’s an adaptation of the videogame Burger Time . Check the link if you’ve never heard of it. It’s really not important. There’s only one scene of food attacking. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVTssi7FLd0

Burger Time

The film opens at a burger place called “Burger Time”. It’s a quick montage to show how busy and popular the place is. Every loves Big John (played by Brian Dennehey) who has owned the place for 30 years and still runs the fryer. On the wall are pictures of Big John standing next to abandon McDonalds, Burger Kings, and Wendys that have all tried to take his business. Big John dies of a heart attack. Everyone looks sad and someone says, “We need to call his son.”

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Fake Movie Friday – Hackers 2: Hack the Planet

FRIDAY!!! I really do look forward to this, and I wish I could shut up about it. BUT I CANNOT AND WILL NOT. I also wish I could write a shorter treatment at some point, these things go on forever. This week I’m trying my hand at the set up sequel, the one where nothing really happens and it’s obvious a third will be coming since you just watched 2 hours of pointless shit. For your reading pleasure: Hackers 2: Hack the Planet

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Fake Movie Friday – The Magic School Bus: The Movie

The Magic School Bus

This movie sucks.

From the creators of Night at the Museum comes Shawn Levy’s next big film.  The Magic School Bus: The Movie takes the classic book series we all loved, but punches it up for today’s moviegoing public.

The film opens on Carlos Ramon, and Ralphie Tennelli played respectively by Daryl Sabara, and Joel Courtney.  Carlos and Ralphie are two foster kids who are always getting into trouble.  They are High school freshmen and dangerously close to falling in with the bad crowd at McKinley HS.  One day they are caught by cops vandalizing the school and they are arrested.  As conditions for them not going to jail a judge, played by Whoopi Goldberg sentences the two boys to attend an alternate high school with smaller classes so that they get the attention the need.

The next scene opens on the two boys walking onto the campus of their new school, Walkerville High, where all of the kids seem to be rushing around and working on nerdy science projects and stuff. The bell rings and they walk into their first class, which appears to be Science 101 (yes a class called Science 101 doesn’t make sense on a hs campus, but whatever) and an excited teacher with VERY red curly hair named Ms. Frizzle, played by Amy Adams, says to the camera “Seatbelts everyone! We’re in for a BUMPY ride.”  A very Dr. Who reminiscent theme song begins to play as the kids rush to the bus. We don’t see where they go exactly, but we hear a lot of hooting and hollering and a whizzing sound before the bus takes off.  The screen shot of Magic School Bus The Movie shows.

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This Weekend in History

Happy Memorial Day Weekend Movie Movie Fan Fans.

This weekend has been a big movie weekend for decades ever since 77 when ‘Star Wars’ came out. I want to go to there.

This weekend is MIB3. Let’s take a look at the memorial day weekends since I’ve been alive to find the one I want to go back to the most.

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“Ya Know What Needs A Remake? The EXORCIST, Bro!” – Worst Executive Ever

Yup.  The Exorcist is being remade as a ten part miniseries. Why? Cause why not, that’s why.  What grinds my gears about this even more is that that Sean Durkin is shepherding this project.  Durkin wrote last years almost perfect Martha Marcy May Marlene.  In my opinion, the best or second best film of last year (Attack the Block, and Shame are close competitors).  Why would such a talented writer/director with such a bright future in the business, be attached to something like this with such a high failure rate? I just don’t get it sometimes.  Do I doubt that he’ll be able to craft a great story even though a 2 hr film is being stretched into 10 hrs? Yes I do.  But why take arguably one of the scariest and well done horror films ever made and re-do it? Why not make something new and exciting? Fucking fuck.

 

I hate everything.  Unless Elizabeth Olsen signs on, and agrees to show her boobies.

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Terrible Casting

‘The Butler’, currently in preproduction, is the story of an African American White House butler who served eight presidents. Lee Daniels (Precious) is on board to direct so it shouldn’t be another ‘The Help’ type film. It has the potential on premise alone, but let’s jump on the casting slide!
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Graphs: One Hand is Always Fighting the Other Hand

“And the left hand is kicking much ass. I mean, it looks like the right hand, Love, is finished. But hold on, stop the presses, the right hand is coming back. Yeah, he got the left hand on the ropes, now, that’s right. Ooh, it’s a devastating right and Hate is hurt, he’s down. Left-Hand Hate KOed by Love.” -Radio Raheem: Do the Right Thing

Naming the movie in which the ‘Love-Hate’ hands was originally from will get you 3 movie movie points points. NO GOOGLING!

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Vin, Buddy… We Need To Talk

Hey, Vin Diesel.

Let me just start off by saying you are amoung friends here.

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